🌎 A reflection on boys and men in skirts

In this text, I will talk about 4 reasons that more traditional parents have for not wanting their children (boys) to wear skirts, and 4 reasons to rethink this belief, whether as a father, mother, educator or caregiver or as a person who had parents and caregivers with this type of mentality.

I am Nycka Nunes, a visual artist and personal and professional development consultant. In this blog, I talk about my consulting work and create content so that you can see things from different angles and decide to invest in my services to be a better person and professional and have a more satisfying and authentic life.

I grew up in a family that educated based on imposition. It is not a thing of the times. My paternal family never imposed their beliefs and values ​​on me. Unfortunately, I was raised by my maternal grandmother who was extremely controlling and had no sense of respect for others. I know that there are still many families like this today and my role includes helping those who have never questioned their own family to rethink their beliefs when raising their children or when living with people with different personalities and values, and helping those who had parents who only repeated what their own parents did to break this cycle and have an authentic and happy life.

• Reason 1: "Oh, but he's going to get bullied."
• How to rethink it: Think of bullying as redirection. If you are a father, mother, caregiver or educator, offer support to your child IF he is bullied, and encourage him to be authentic so that sooner or later he will attract friendships that value people like him. Don't be another bully in your child's life. If you had parents like this and never had support, count on my consulting to rethink this and other limiting beliefs and have a more authentic life.
• Reason 2: "Oh, but skirts are for women."
• How to rethink it: I have never seen a single image of Jesus Christ or his apostles wearing long pants. I have also never seen gladiators wearing pants. Pants are a recent invention in history. And… women wear pants. So, there is no reason for men not to wear skirts. I have worked in the fashion industry for decades and I can assure you that the only reason clothes are separated by gender is the need for their cut to be adapted to the anatomy of men and women.
• Reason 3: A variation of reason 2: “Oh, but my son is going to become transgender”. 
• How to rethink it: Start by understanding that someone being transgender does not make that person inferior to anyone else. It is just a personal preference. Some people love Japanese food while others feel nauseous just thinking about eating raw fish. And such preferences do not affect your life in any way, so you have no right to interfere. Having taken this step, think that if you try to impose on a boy that certain clothes are inappropriate for boys, he will think that he was born in the wrong body because he has tastes that, in the opinion of his parents, caregivers and educators, who are important references in childhood, are feminine, and then he will see himself as transgender. It is not wearing a skirt that will do this. It is your prejudice. An outfit doesn't change a normal, healthy human being. There are plenty of straight cis men who wear skirts.
• Reason 4: “Oh, but my father raised me that way and I didn’t die.”
• How to rethink it: You didn’t die, but you killed your critical sense, your ability to question and think for yourself. This, while your child is a child, can be very convenient, but in adulthood it is very bad for him, and it is for you too. How many dreams have you killed along the way? How many opportunities have you lost by blindly following your parents' orders? The inability to question your parents is a sign of emotional immaturity.

Judging what others wear, without being an expert on the subject, is something very outdated, something for very sexist people and/or incapable of exercising critical reasoning so as not to notice the sexism in this choice and the objectification of minor children that is explicit in the attitude of those who think it is right to regulate what children who are old enough to communicate their own preferences wear.

I know how difficult it is to get rid of old beliefs, especially when it seems that everyone around us follows the same pattern and that is exactly why I decided to work with personal and professional development. To become a better and more authentic person, hire my consultancy.

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Nycka Nunes